Beauty 101
St. Paul’s United Methodist Church
1 Peter 3:3-4 Phaedra Raymond January 10, 2010
1 Peter 3:3-4 (New International Version)
3 Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as braided hair and the wearing of gold jewelry and fine clothes.
4 Instead, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God's sight.
It honestly doesn’t matter what you look on the outside, it’s all in the inside.
What you are outside doesn’t determine who you are inside. What you are inside determines what you do on the outside.
“Beauty 101”
When I venture out into the world, away from the safe confines and privacy of my home, I rarely do so without about an hour’s worth of “getting ready”. I like my hair big (I am sure that comes as a surprise to most of you), I like to wear makeup, I probably wear too much perfume and I always match pretty much from head to toe. It makes me feel good to present myself in this way.
I think this is a pretty normal routine for most of us. We all like to look good and present ourselves in a well kept and put together manner. It might not take some of you as long to do your hair as me, because of the lack of hair, I won’t mention any names……, but nevertheless we all do what we need to…to look our best.
We live in a society that bases a great deal of judgment on how we look on the outside. But what if everyone could see what you look like on the inside just as easily? A few weeks ago Sealey and I went to see the movie the Princess and the Frog. It was a fun, energetic, feel good love story. One of the characters in the movie was called shadow man…….he was a tall, lanky man. There was nothing too extraordinary about his appearance, however all throughout the movie his shadow was always lurking behind him looking very sneaky, scary and evil. At one point in the movie Sealey leaned over and said to me, “his shadow always looks mean and scary, that must be what he looks like on the inside.” And in fact it was!
It got me thinking, what would be revealed about us all if our shadow was a true reflection of who we are on the inside. Would my shadow reflect the person that I present on the outside?
We have all known people who worked very hard to present themselves to the world in one way, but lived their lives in a far different way. In fact, I am sure at some point most of us have done this as well. This isn’t always a bad thing, often times we are actively working towards a goal and one part of us is a little behind…..for instance, my shadow thinks I can sing, but my outside has not yet caught on to the idea. Seriously though, we often times have to make a valiant effort to change something about ourselves and the outside may not represent the inside or vice versa.
The point is….what a completely different world we would live in if we couldn’t hide behind ourselves. If with every interaction our shadow was right there with us proclaiming to the world who we truly are.
I am an optimist, and I truly believe that for the most part we all strive to be as honest and genuine as we can be, on the outside and the inside. But Sealey’s comment was a great reminder for me to evaluate this about myself and see if I am off balance. It also prompted me to be mindful of my judgments of myself and others. What I see on the outside is not necessarily who that person is on the inside, good or bad.
Children are often times the best example of this and as a parent of 5 children, life has blessed me with an abundance of opportunity to see God in the most unlikely places and to see my shadow in their representation of me as a mom and a person.
Our son Tristan is a 6th grader this year. He is our middle child and occasionally acts as if we never give him any attention unless he is doing something to become the center of attention. As full of craziness and pranks as he sometimes is, he is one of the most loving and compassionate people I know. About a month or two after he started 5th grade last year we received a call that Tristan would be honored as Student of the Month. This honor usually comes when a student is doing really well in class, getting good grades, or participating well. But what we learned from Tristan’s teacher was that he had been chosen because of the compassion and friendship that he was showing to a young man in his class named Riley. Riley is not the average student, he has some physical and mental disadvantages that make his school day harder than most. He is sometimes loud, has a very short attention span and demands your full attention. Due to his disability people sometimes judge him before they get to know him. But not Tristan. We learned that Tristan had taken Riley under his wing and became a mentor to him. He helped him, but beyond that, he treated him with dignity and respect. He did not patronize him because of his disability, but was a true friend. He encouraged him to be all he could be and had to be firm with him at times as well. Riley has a fascination with hearts, he always wants to know what a person’s heart is doing and asks everyone if he can touch their heart (little did he know that he already did). He asked Tristan and the others in his class over and over again, all day long about their hearts. Tristan would make a deal with him every day. If he didn’t ask him all day long, at the end of the day he could put his hand on his heart and feel what it was doing. Riley loved this! Because of Tristan’s friendship with Riley, Riley’s mom asked him if he would be willing to be his trainer for the Special Olympics. Tristan of course said yes. Two days a week we would go to the practices where Tristan would encourage Riley and help keep him on track. Together with Tristan and Riley’s class we made banners to show our support and we wore red “Team Riley” shirts to show our solidarity and encouragement. Riley and Tristan’s teacher, and at least half of their class showed up to be there to cheer Riley on as he competed that day. Tristan got to be out on the field with him as his coach. When Riley started to run his first race, he wasn’t sure if he could go the distance, but with Tristan running by his side encouraging him on, he made it all the way, passing all of us on the sidelines with tears streaming down our faces. Riley’s mom said to me once, “I never thought Riley would have a real friend, I knew people would like him, but I never thought he would have a true friend.” It was a very special moment that us two moms shared together, a time of pride and a gift that two 11 year old boys shared…..to show us that we should look into each other’s souls and love and appreciate what makes us similar and that which makes us each unique. It doesn’t matter what we look like on the outside, it is our inner beauty that truly counts.
Here at St. Paul’s we have made a lot of changes over the last several years. We have built a building that stands firm and tall, majestic and beautiful in the heart of our community. We have weathered times that have challenged us to examine our shadow on this hill and evaluate if it represents what we look like on the outside. I have been honored to serve as one of the lay leaders for St. Paul’s over the last 4 and ½ years, first as vice Lay leader with Matt Dale and now as the lay leader with Greg Johnson by my side as the vice (he’s in charge of vice’s, so see him if you need help). It has been a very rewarding position to be in and I have learned a great deal. So, who are we here at St. Paul’s, collectively and individually?
Well, among many other things we are grounded in hospitality, growing in faith, giving in service and going in mission…….and I think we do a pretty fine job of “practicing what we preach” and making sure our shadow is true to what we say about ourselves.
However, just because we do a fine job does not mean that we can be complacent and lazy about who we are or whose we are……..Grounded in Hospitality means we not only open our doors to everyone to worship with us, but we welcome them with open arms, and we greet them with a happy heart and friendly smile. We embrace the different points of view they may bring and we share in our commonness. Not too long ago a very dear friend of mine passed away. She was not a member of St. Paul’s, but was a member of the Walk to Emmaus community that with much gratitude hosts our weekend events here at St. Paul’s. We decided as a community to have a celebration of life service for her here. As I was organizing flowers and photos for the service two women came in to the sanctuary. They were there to look around to see if St. Paul’s was where they would hold the upcoming funeral for one of the women’s husband who had not yet passed, but was close to doing so. They did not worship here at St. Paul’s but needed a large place to hold their service. As I showed them around and answered questions, the woman whose husband was close to passing started to cry. She was struck by how open and welcoming our church was to her in her time of need, no questions asked. Her communication with the office staff and her interaction that day in the sanctuary was such a positive experience for her in a time that was so difficult and she kept saying that she could not believe how gracious and open we were to a complete stranger. Grounded in hospitality.
Growing in Faith, growing in our commitment, our conviction, our dedication and our devotion. It is our responsibility as a community to continually measure where we are at in our faith journey. Are we committed to the path we are on and do we travel down that road with conviction and faithfulness? It is not enough to just sit in a pew each week, we must all work together to open ourselves up for growth and a deeper understanding of our own journeys and to support one another as a community of faith. One way that we are able to explore and expand our faith is through the many learning opportunities that are offered here at St. Paul’s. I have had the pleasure of attending several classes and have found that it pushes me to look deeper within myself and at the world around me and dive into new ways of learning and growing.
Giving in Service……St. Paul’s is one of the most utilized churches in our community. We offer our facility to a wide variety of groups to have a safe, comfortable and welcoming space to gather. We are a service oriented group of people who generously give of our time to promote, support and enhance the mission of this church. This does not just mean our money either….it means our hearts and our hands. As needs change and grow within our own church and our community, we need to change and grow with them. Are we still doing all that we can to give in service? Where can we do more? Is there something that you are just so good at that we must have you do it? I know that for some it is easier to wait and see if someone just might know that you are the best gardener in the whole world, but chances are we won’t. So speak up, let us know what you have to offer, guaranteed we will appreciate your gift.
Going in Mission……we as a community are always looking for opportunities to extend a hand in mission, here in Helena, around our state and in the world. Mission does not have to mean that we fly to some faraway place to offer our support and gifts, although this is one way in which we reach out in mission here at St. Paul’s. It can be as simple as offering warm showers to women and children who are homeless or in need. I truly believe that it is our responsibility to look beyond ourselves and our needs and offer a part of ourselves to making this world a better place. Connor and Tristan are preparing to join others in their youth group for a mission trip to Florida this spring. They are both very excited. Connor had the opportunity to go to Denver with the youth group a few years back and came home a different young man……he grew so much through his experience of helping others. One of the things he was most struck by was how people with next to nothing were so grateful for what they did have and for their lives. They were happy in spite of their situations. I have not had the opportunity to travel with a group on a mission trip and look forward to the time in which I can, but until then I feel compelled to reach out in mission in the ways that I can. I pray that both our son’s will find satisfaction and grace through helping others.
Last year the church council read the book Five Practices of Fruitful Congregations. It was a great way to look at what we are doing well, what we can improve on and sparked incredible conversation around our table. I think I can speak for all of us in saying that it helped us navigate our way through deep discussion about who we are here at St. Paul’s and ultimately who we are as individuals. This Lenten season we will be exploring the next book in this series, Cultivating Fruitfulness, Five Weeks of Prayer and Practice for Congregations and we will be asking you to join us. It will provide us with the opportunity to interactively take a good look at our shadow and how we look to others on the outside and if that matches who we are on the inside. We will let you know more about this as the time approaches.
I love that this world is filled with unique and different people, it makes life interesting. Making sure your shadow is a true reflection of who you really are does not mean you have to be like someone else, it simply means that people should be able to look at you and no matter what your outward appearance is be able to see the beautiful person that you are on the inside. And if your shadow does not represent who you want to be, think about a makeover or a manicure for the heart and soul……..make sure you put as much time into who you are on the inside as you do on looking good on the outside.
In closing I will challenge each of you…..every time you see your shadow hanging around behind you, take a moment to think about what it might be saying about who you are and decide if this is what you would want the world to see. I will still get up each morning and do my hair, put on my makeup, pick out the best outfit for the day and douse myself with perfume, but I am also going to do some primping of the inside part of me. I want to nurture the shadow within myself as much as I do the exterior that the world can see.
I hope you do too!
